Ineffable Ontological Detanglement > Behavioral Dysregulation

This is the stupidest fucking thing, this is the most bizarre off the wall personal darkness. In childhood it's easy enough to just find the tick option, my brain is going to let me do this... Hm, creates a bit of a thrill. I could destroy myself. This person now thinks I'm a thing that I personally have deemed more interesting. I can be an ever so slightly better me. It's fun. You carry this into adulthood, you become a nonsensical dark secrets nonsense person. Inside, you have a deep dark secret, in your alone time you will drift into horror. Seven people within your life think you have a pet hamster, however you do not have a pet hamster. You're thinking about their connections... One of these people knows somebody who knows I do not have a pet hamster. What happens? ...What happens? Darkness, everybody's cold shoulder. Everybody in my life is darkly looking down on me, whispering secrets. It could be happening now. It could be happening now...

I can deliver to you the psychology of a pathological liar as a brief former childhood pathological liar myself. I found the tick. It didn't take me long to realize this is a bunch of nonsense why did I ever feel the urge to do this. But, I picked up the skill. My experience as a pathological liar, my possession of the sociopath, empath and schizoid conditions, deep emotional repression and processing dysregulation face, with a an OCD paranoid anxiety ridden base covering, perfect levels of cool temperament and bravery, high charm, speed of light thought formation, lateral thinking, a completely properly compartmentalized mind that will never surprise me with emotional expression, general presumption that with the vast majority of people I never make direct eye contact often times for their benefit, knowing just how other people think, eidetic hyperthymesia to keep a running inventory of lies, clairsentient intuition and brilliant insights on how to spot a liar do in fact create the perfect master of deception. I would never be able to fool an electronic lie detector but I would imagine I could fool the best of the organic lie detectors. Deep down I really do understand the nature of our Christian existence and that all of us science-y minded people just fling a lot of gibberish and we don't really understand what we're saying either.

To my parents I had quite a few, they pretty much just seemed to receive anything they were very easy, however to the general public I only had like four or five at most I was a lot more careful with them. The one that sealed it was age seven, I have two older sisters who live in Toronto. Seems more interesting, sisters, older, Toronto... Makes more sense than only child. Big city, still Canada, split family or some such. I think I'm that now. Okay so within these three kids and this teacher I am now that, noted. Nothing about this contradicts anything anybody else knows me to be, okay check. I think I'm creating a problem. That one does very little for me. All of these do very little for me, I'm restricting myself to something far too believable, my life is not very impressive to any of these people it's basically like 5% more interesting than who I am in the eyes of me... It's probably about equivalent in the eyes of them. Alright, well, two older sisters in Toronto for now, I'm sure it'll disappear in everyone's mind in a few weeks or hours. Everyone is stupid enough that if it ever comes up I'm an only child I can just act confused. I'm going to hold this in reserve with my parents, I won't tweak out on it anymore but I think I'm going to need to keep a certain false barrier established for some reason.

I knew my parents were not just pretending to allow it, because lying is a thing they took incredibly seriously. Way too stupid far seriously. As a six year old a bully was harassing me, when he picked me up I bit his arm. My teacher for whatever reason had some kind of grudge against me, even though I was a perfectly well behaved well mannered child, I think maybe it was me making her question all of her life philosophies when she was teaching me how to properly hold a pencil and I was saying "Why do I need to do it the regular accepted way when my writing is a lot cleaner and easier to read when I do it my way?" So she said she was going to call my parents, I said something like "But it was self defense" and she said something like "You can't talk your way out of THIS one you awful child." I did have a reputation with the teachers of being a word manipulator, I would sometimes charm bullies into protecting me from other bullies, I would sometimes word concept myself out of getting beaten up. Awful child, awful awful manipulative child. Apparently my mother got the call at work and she was asking for parenting advice from her co-workers and they were basically all saying "What you should do is REWARD the child" and she agreed, but when she tested me with an "Anything interesting happen today?" and I said "No." I still got grounded for two weeks for lying. Deep darkness, very deep darkness, everything that is me has been obliterated in their eyes darkness. My mother learned from this that I am a LIAR, and so now she has entered a contradiction. By adulthood I am about five hundred different contradictions. Over half of these contradictions, I am actually neither of these things. Her LIAR contradiction, no, I am neither a liar nor was I ever honest with you before the moment you established that I am actually a liar. Every child with natural perceptual filter bypass under the ownership of parents that do not have natural perceptual filter bypass learn pretty fast they're doing this themselves, what we have here is an obstacle, I am forever everything they misinterpreted about me when I was three. No, my system only ever would have inserted one side of the contradiction though had I been aware of the potentiality to be that funny cruel I probably would have been that funny cruel. Most of the things my mother believes I am, both sides of the contradiction are all her... Her entire framework is probably about one third my insertion.

The actual me is not a liar, with my parents not so much either I'm just a complex information omitter, deflector and diverter, however I did sometimes still require my skills with my parents. Before I was able to properly establish "Stop doing my laundry" without being declared psychotic, her evil paranoid hallucination... I asked my mother about a certain article of clothing, SHIT WHOOPS, I did not approach this discussion with an analysis of potentiality, uh oh, now she assumes it's time to casually go into my room and start going through my dresser, who knows what could happen now. Luckily the character that is now me that is Rob within mother has nothing to hide so I'm all calm and cool. She gets there, "These clothes aren't folded and arranged very well. Do you mind if I rearrange them?" Of course the answer needs to be no, risk analysis, an answer of yes I mind is way more likely to blow up, I'll just have to grit my teeth, anything can happen now. Yep, there it is. An old notepad under my clothes. I remember what I did now, I wanted to go over that notepad because I wasn't sure all of it went on my computer but I knew if they ever decided to snoop there are things on that notepad that get me back in the psych ward. I'll just hide it here and get to it tomorrow or something. I forgot about it. Ooops. A. You are a paranoid psychotic, why the fuck would you hide a notepad? B. What are you hiding? "There's a notepad here..." Calm cool confused "Oh? Huh, weird. I guess I must have set it there when I was getting dressed one day and it got buried."

The best example I've always known of pathological liars is false trip reports on erowid, the people who want to present that they are impressive drugs people to the drugs people who are not impressed by other drugs people without actually doing any research in order to properly present how these drugs operate. N-no a k-hole is not you literally sitting in a roller coaster. Oh yeah don't forget to put the Shakespearean melodrama that is your life in the trip report, you came home from a funeral your parents are asleep in the next room they don't even know you're a ketamine addict your dark little secrets dark depressed person darkness yes. You're everything we want to be. Nobody even knows who you are man, we don't even know who to be impressed with. I don't remember if you said you injected into your veins instead of your muscles but I hope you injected into your veins instead of your muscles.

I... I faked it before I maked it with drugs a little on the internet as well. I overstated how much shrooms and marijuana I had done and LSD was a total fabrication. But at least I knew what I was doing, I had more information than most drug people and I never presented my experience to people who knew what they were talking about. Especially not strictly to the highest of people who know what they're talking about. Didn't even so much speak of experience, keep it to a minimum, I'm just trying something on here make sure it works with actual known full personality, figure out how to slip it into partial known personality... Should be doable, oh sure pick the one friend it would never fit with send that one, make him all excited to be the one to stumble upon the drugs hookup and prove himself. No the... The only Winnipeg friend I know has the marijuana was a real one, I actually did hang out with him a few times in the first year of university and smoke this marijuana it was a real person it was real marijuana, I couldn't get ahold of him I think I was too much for him. In the... In the good... Way. Ah you'll never hear any of that. The... Rob has no friends he thinks I thinks he thinks I thinks he thinks I thinks he had friends because I made it up for him thing... Was. I mean. No, isolated. But. ... Ah you'll never hear any of that. Ah well whatever I'm sure you covered it up for me, kept me safe for the others, he makes up friends to sound cool drugs even though I cool drugs. I kept your image safe weiner, you're welcome, NICE. Hehe then I secretly spread it around, NICE. Mmkay, it's so annoying that it does that, I guess that's the learn level two cognitive functioning high speed spread is meaningless moment, you start doing the drugs you realize give it up, give up on the world. ...These passive aggressive psychosis repressed thoughts smash moments get covered up. Sometimes when people go psychotic on those they hit the interconnection and start saying and he played with lego and stuffed animals until he was twelve. No obviously God would never write that in as a joke, just, when it's me, and probably even a lot of you, but especially me, people smash hammer so hard on clinging to their desire to need it I'm never letting go that it bwarp fwaps the brain. It... I don't know, it got around, the job got done, I'm sure everybody repressed yours.

I always knew this would be the most difficult one to come clean with because it makes me a pathological liar until I was like nineteen. I wasn't, right? I have to take a good hard look at this. No, no I wasn't. I never touched it again I just knew I had these skills. Then I decided to do an embellished story about somebody once after that and I'm like NO I DON'T I DON'T DO THAT, now I have to... Now I have to maintain... Ah he's a blitz face he won't even remember that one. Now I have to maintain it because I don't do that. You know I don't do that, you can trust me. He was though, it was basically true I just made this guy a current meth addict rather than a former meth addict. I didn't even know the main part it was just a story of I tried, oh well fuck that guy. I'm good at psychology, some people resist, I guess it's sad I don't know.

I sense a delusional complex of self superiority I guess I figure the only way I'm going to crack into it and establish mine is the one that is superior is to initiate with embellishment. So I just feel the urge. Even though that one is a completely pointless embellishment it doesn't even do anything for me. I don't remember what we were on but I'll assume it lowered inhibitions. Okay you're a big boy now you live all on your own don't do dat. Empath malfunction, see a false image auto respond with false image. Day one, WATCH IT, tear it down, now I have to do a gradual tear it down. That was the only one where words were false, however you were getting a personality more palatable to you, that's probably why it was so horrifying when I finally gradually cracked it all the way to regular old me a few months later. I did keep trying to undo, psychedelic sensibilities stated every time I release false image, scramble a why am I doing this this isn't me let's be honest in there. Empath flashes the both of us out of it even when it technically isn't at the level of magic. Repressed memory smash. No, maintain false image, you're both being punished. No I don't fucking care about you man but I still love you man, you've got something that makes you worth it. RELAX. This is me it doesn't mean anything, I know you're perfect I know that means this isn't us forever. Adopting ego investment policy to become popular means you scramble your brain, especially when it now wants you to cover up child rape, you're fine.

You know how to spot an idiotic liar, inconsistency, eye contact, too many details too little details, delays, defensiveness, uncomfortable body language, unrelated negativity, oversimplifying the statement because they're too stupid to talk and lie at the same time, removing the first person pronoun likely semi-consciously attempting to remove themselves from themselves. You can't just do it by reading about it, though, not most of you. You look for things like touching the face, nervousness and irritability thinking you can just click it, you saw the sign and now you know. It isn't that simple, there are a lot of little subtleties that most minds cannot pick up on, you have to bypass the fact that you know the signs and basically semi-ignore the signs, they're just things happening around the little subtleties. You're annoying. Sometimes people are just touching their face, sometimes people are just nervous and irritable.

To go beyond this really properly you need the empath, the paranoid, and either play a lot of poker or watch paranormal activity shows. But I'll get you there without any of that with what I have learned. Obviously we see reality as we can't yet understand and it is true here and there on paranormal activity shows, however it is also a playground for people with deception addiction... Pathological liars or former pathological liars who can no longer serve the tick in day to day life and this goes to some dark internal places. We start with the prepared "You just think... That I... Am... a LIAR!!" sad defeated angry eye droop. The story is all prepared, it's presentation time, and they just know all you assholes aren't going to believe them and so they spout their story with an internal "Eugh... I'm sick of you assholes not believing me... I'm just gonna keep spouting..." Then there is the far simpler super happy evil excited "I'm fooling you you idiot!" which is about 2% more wide eyed, with a 6% smirk and an air of anticipation, they just can't wait to see you be fooled. Just watch EVP voicebox stuff you'll see one or the other. Now that I've told you what it is any non-empath can easily see it without any example.

In poker you can refine face reading a little because you know people are trying to present a lie as truth a truth as lie, you understand how smart they are so you understand how many layers of lie there are to it, a true expert knows another true expert when they know you can never know how many layers of lie there are, and it isn't even that impressive it's just that most people are very simple. Yes yes big stupid smile, is it real is it fake? Is it fake real is it real fake? Ooohhh no that's not what I'm looking at. No it's best not to signal an attempt at signaling, it's best to signal while trying to look like you're not signaling. Play with double faking within that feeling once people clue into you doing that.

Now the face of the stupid is just... "You don't know if it's one way or the other!" excitement and then if you look two layers beyond that you usually see it, the first layer is the false one and then you see the true one.

Instead of saying you didn't do it, say something along the lines of "Oh I don't know, maybe. I don't think I did that I don't remember. I wasn't paying attention." I found that one at age six. The last time I used it was age eighteen when I broke a door brace thing with a payloader at work and the boss told me it's okay if I did I can say it I'll only get in trouble if I'm caught lying but at that point I was already invested. I don't really know what it feels like to be afraid you'll be caught in a lie, that's the thing that gets you, the fear of being caught. You need to have confidence in your abilities, you need to have a really cool baseline temperament and bravery, you need the sociopathic ability to compartmentalize yourself out of what you're doing, and it really helps to have schizoid detachment towards what this person may be thinking. Also you need to find within yourself the areas to explore to present believable, I didn't remember looking at the broken door brace, but when he told me about it I remembered hitting it. That helped. Presentation is easier for me when nobody is expecting much facial expression anyway.

Also there's "Yes, yes I did do that one, sorry... But no I did not do that other one." That one is easy, a lot of children find that one. However I bet you didn't find "YES fine okay I was lying about that one. Also I was lying about this other one you didn't realize. No I was not lying about those other three." Those ones will really help, Christianity. Those ones will help you a lot. Clinging to what I just said is the only way you're going to be able to do this. You're nowhere near this article.